Meditation: A friendly, meandering journey of finding the infinite within

Simply the mere idea of meditation is enough to get people to resist internally.  There is something frightening, to most, about the idea of being present with one’s thoughts.  It’s as if just being quiet and allowing one’s thoughts to rise is going to lead to insanity.  Or maybe somehow bring forth dark or “evil” thoughts.  So what we do instead is distract, repress, and fill with all sorts of things that mean absolutely nothing.  We then call this sanity. 

Becoming aware of one’s thoughts is reaching to the place inside in which change is possible.  It never leads to a bad outcome.  It may feel unpleasant for a spell, but ultimately one’s awareness is what allows one’s thoughts to be released.  Pretending they are not there is not the same as letting them go.  If one wishes to become lighter in thought and body one simply needs to develop awareness.  A moment to moment awareness is the goal but you don’t just start there.  Meditation is a skill developed over time.  Patience is needed to allow for a deepening of mind awareness.   One engages in techniques specifically designed to build powers of concentration in order to gain insight into the workings of one’s mind.  The techniques are numerous.  The individual effectiveness is varied.  One must chart their own course, but tools are available to show you the path. 

As one develops greater awareness of self, patterns of disharmony emerge.  You become aware of how certain types of thoughts make you feel.  You become aware of which foods nourish you and which foods do something else entirely.  Over time, with greater experience, you began to see what emotions or thoughts lead to craving certain types of food, beverages, and intoxicants.  You then are in a greater position to make a different choice, one that comes from a place of empowerment rather than one of reaction.  As you learn to navigate the unfolding mystery of all the varying nuances of being that you as a complex unit of memory, thought, experience, intellect, emotions (love and fear) make up, you can than begin to understand what your triggers are in life.  What motivations exist behind all the decisions you make in everyday life.  Once you can witness these things as an observer rather than the subject you then find yourself comfortably seated in the driver’s seat.  Your choices need no longer be reactionary.  You can now tackle the challenges life throws at you with greater levels of clarity and peace.  That doesn’t mean life will always go the way you want it to, but that your peace of mind will allow you to weather whatever storm comes up on this meandering journey we all tread.     

What is Conscious Communication? And... Why should you care?

Would you like to be able to say what you mean and mean what you say?  To speak your thoughts from a place of clarity of mind and centeredness rather than from reactionary drivel spurred on by emotions run amok?  

What would that look like for you? How do you feel others would respond to you if they felt you were fully present and truly hearing them?

Not categorizing, not jumping ahead, not judging but rather solidly and patiently present with them.

 How much of your words arise from past experiences, from conditioned responses to certain situations, or from wanting to appear a certain way? Where is the authenticity behind your words?

Communication becomes much less stressful when it comes from conscious thoughts with conscious intentions.  There is much less possibility of miscommunication of your actual thoughts or hearing something different than the words and intent behind the words being shared with you by another.  Communication is always an exchange of much more than words. There are non-verbal cues. There is the energy of intent. And there is the space available between the people communicating.  This space is directly proportionate to the ability of each individual to hold mental silence while the other is speaking. This creates an opening for sharing on all levels of communication.  

Do you know how to be silent when someone is speaking to you? What does that mean?

It means you aren’t categorizing what is being said. You aren’t judging content. You aren’t jumping to conclusions about where the conversation is headed.  You aren’t planning your response in advance. You are instead engaged in active listening and sharing space (physical, emotional, and mental) while in the flow of varied exchanges that are experienced within a conscious conversation.

How does one develop skill in conscious communication?  

It starts with developing awareness of one’s own thoughts and intentions.  Becoming hyper vigilant about the words you are using and how they are shaping the world around you.  

What beliefs are you holding?

• Beliefs about yourself.
• Beliefs about others.
• Beliefs about the “realities” of the world.  
• Beliefs about life itself.

All of these beliefs will influence your communication. Most of which happens on the subconscious level.  

How do we discover what is hidden below the surface?

We are all very clear about what makes up the tip of the iceberg but how do we map out and comprehend what exists beneath the tip we have managed to expose and see?  How do we see all? Meditation. Love of self and others. Forgiveness. Most thoughts stem from past experience or future concerns. If we release the past and let the future reveal itself from moment to moment the mind becomes very quiet.  Communication becomes a joyous sharing of new moments. Fresh eyes make all you come across interesting. You are free to communicate in new ways. You can now be moved by new topics and different types of people.

How do you think it would feel to communicate with someone without judgment or agenda?  Do you think it could be you? What would you imagine to be important to one engaging life on that level? How about freedom? Openness? Lightness? Spaciousness? Centeredness? Do you think there would be space for fear? Disappointment? Indecision? Judgment? Worry? What do you think the world would look like if that level of communication was the standard for day to day communication globally?

As you begin looking into your communication patterns, a journal may be a useful tool to keep track of patterns, epiphanies, and new commitments. 

Was this helpful?  Let me know by sharing it on social media and liking it below!  Thank you.

The Fickle practitioner… who likes to do all the techniques… all at the same time

This topic has been part of a conversation that started in my house since I came up with the idea for this series. Both of us are dedicated meditation practitioners. Both of us started our meditation journeys in very different ways. And both of us are evolving in different ways but with common themes. So we have some varying opinions and thoughts to consider here. I'll be giving all of it to you here.....

The topic of technique is a little more difficult in that there are MANY techniques that will bring about the myriad of health benefits as well as results of quieting the mind and bringing peace. I’m not going to tell you what technique to go for. I believe it’s best if you select the technique that resonates the most with you (not because it resonates with your friend or partner). This means that you might need to do some research to find what suits you and what feels “right” for you.  The benefit of taking this time at the start is that you will be more prone to stick with it because it was selected consciously to align to your own needs and desires.

Why is that important?  Well, it will take time for you to become proficient with the technique and therefore it will take time for it to have the result that you desire. We talked about consistency last week, here, and consistency in practicing a technique is also important.

This is where I'd like to present some different perspectives. You can try these thoughts on and see how they feel. 

Casey just read a book by Osho, wherein Osho says to try each of the meditation practices in the book for three consecutive days. The belief here is that, if it’s the right one for you, if you are truly dedicated in the practice for three days, you’ll make a good amount of progress within only three days. On the other hand, if it’s not for you, you won’t and you’ll move on.

If you know who Osho is, you’ll understand why I feel very reluctant to go against his thoughts on that. And I do understand it intuitively. If the energy of the practice is an energetic fit for you, you’ll know it and it will have an impact. In three days.

However, I do want to point out that Casey has been practicing Goenka Vipassana for many years. His set point going into trying a new technique every three days is different from the set point of someone new to meditation entirely. And this is what I want to point out here.

Finding a technique that resonates and that can become the backbone of your meditation practice is important. In my opinion, once you are proficient in a technique, it becomes easier to try others and achieve results.

Why do I think this?

For most of us, accessing the realms of consciousness that are accessed via meditation is not part of our lives UNTIL we begin to meditate. It takes a certain level of proficiency and achievement in your meditation practice to get to the point that you are doing so on a consistent basis. This, again, in my opinion, is where we begin to access the tremendous benefits from a mind, body, spirit perspective of meditation. This is when we arise from our cushion feeling calmer, more centered, alert, and tapped in.

So, without an existing practice and existing proficiency in a technique, I believe that jumping from technique to technique is going to prolong this even further. If you have a specific goal or desired outcome of your practice, this could be detrimental.

The best way to master a technique is to make a commitment to yourself and work daily to master it. If you’ve already started your practice, you know that it is definitely a commitment. And mostly, the reason I see for people breaking their commitment is not seeing progress or feeling that they aren’t doing it right (I touched on this in the first post, here).

For those of you who have an on-again off-again relationship with meditation, next week we’ll talk about bringing Compassion into your practice, and why it’s a game changer. You might decide afterward to be on-again.

As I wrote this post, I realized that there are a couple of topics I haven’t really hit yet. So lucky us! There will be two bonus blog posts in this series:

• What about Guided Meditations?
• Why all the talk about meditation in the first place?!

Missed a post in this series? Check out the below links: 

• Misperceptions about Taming the Wild Mind Through Meditation
• Why "I meditate once or twice a month" doesn't cut it

Until next week, Happy Sitting!

Why “I meditate consistently once or twice a month” doesn’t cut it

A lot of my friends are runners. They are dedicated to the practice (although I’m not sure that’s the right term here) of running with consistency, commitment and dedication. If they don’t run with disciplined consistency, they find that their endurance has decreased, their timing is off, and they have lost some of the gain (or momentum) that consistency brings.

I’m here to tell you that meditation is the same.

If I run once or twice a month, it is not reasonable for me to believe that I will have made any change in my ability to run further at a faster rate of speed. In the same way, if you are meditating once or twice a month (or once or twice a week), it is unreasonable to believe that you are gaining focus and endurance in your meditation practice. It might provide some calm in that moment, but the long-term benefits of the practice are not being cultivated to the fullest extent possible. Just like with running.

These are, of course, generalizations. It may be possible for someone to meditate infrequently and still make great strides in their practice. I just don’t happen to know anyone like that.

So, what does consistency mean in the meditation world?

Consistency in your meditation practice brings together frequency of practice with time and location of practice (at a minimum). It can also include technique, but that’s next week’s blog post topic. We’re going to discuss each of these in a bit more detail.

Frequency of practice is one thing that people tell me holds them back. I recommend a daily practice, and I’m frequently told that it’s just hard to find the time. To that, I call bullsh!t. I know…  I said it and I don’t frequently cuss.

If you can find time to watch TV, have a glass of wine, read a chapter of a book (or five), or any number of other “wind-down” activities, you can find five minutes to meditate. That’s right, just five minutes. You cannot tell me that you can’t consistently find five minutes.

People think it takes more than that, and ultimately, maybe it does, but that is entirely up to you. Furthermore, that is a decision that is not made when you are starting, it’s made when five minutes seems to go by too quickly. Or better yet, when consistently (there’s that word again), you find that you open your eyes naturally after 10 or 15 minutes have passed.

Given that, we are talking about finding five minutes each day to meditate…  at close to the same time each day (or same “time of day each day”). This is the next consistency key. The last one is, in a dedicated place.

Why are these two things important?

I’m going with a food analogy now. Have you ever noticed that after a few days of being off your normal eating schedule, you begin to crave your meal or snack on that new schedule? Maybe you’re at a conference or traveling and you begin your day eating breakfast an hour and a half earlier than you do at home. After four days, you return home and you wake up ravenous an hour and half earlier than you would normally eat. This literally happens to me every time I travel.

My body has become accustomed to eating on that new schedule. And in the same way, with consistency of practice at a particular time, your body, mind, and spirit will begin to crave meditation at your scheduled time. How does that benefit you? Well, for one thing, when your body, mind, and spirit are craving it… that means one battle is solved and all parts of you are in agreement on what time it is…  it’s time to meditate!

That is NOT what we typically experience to begin a practice, when parts of ourselves are fighting us, thinking that there are 79 items on the to-do list that take priority over our meditation practice. I know some of you experience this, so what if all it takes is discipline and consistency to jump that one hurdle? There are others behind it, I know, but what if we could jump that ONE. I call that victory.

As a side note on scheduling time at the same time of day every day: I am not saying you schedule yourself to meditate at 7:13pm or 6:32am every day. What I am saying is that “just before bedtime” or “upon waking” you meditate. This leaves room for dinner dates, sleeping in on the weekends, watching a movie, running a late errand, and any number of other things that are going to come up at 7:13pm or 6:32am. It leaves wiggle room for you to live your life and at the same time, make a commitment to a meditation practice that will bring you countless long-term benefits.  

This does bring us to our last item; location. Now, I’ll preface this with the fact that I am an energy person. And what I mean by that is that I feel energetic patterns, frequencies, shifts, etc. So this one is big for me, but you may find that you can take it or leave it.

Meditating in a dedicated place each time creates a ritual, or a routine for those who prefer that word. It sets the energetic tone of calm, tranquility, and quiet in this location which over time creates a similar energetic impact as the consistent time, just on a more subtle level. Some of you will feel the accumulation of energy on your cushion (or chair) and it will be welcoming.

My normal recommendations are to make this space welcoming, make it beautiful, make it sing to your senses. It does not need to be a room…  mine is a spot on the floor by my side of the bed for my nightly practice with a beautiful henna painting above it. I use a chair downstairs for my morning practice. The chair is not “dedicated” only for meditation – but it is mostly “my” chair and it’s in a room without a TV (but I’m sitting on it with my laptop to write this).

Above all else, it’s important to keep your meditation space clean yet comfortable. If you have a lot of clutter in this area, you’ll have to jump the hurdle of picking it up before you can meditate. We don’t want that…   you already have plenty of other excuses keeping you from practice…   why add one more!?

Consistency in your practice builds the “muscles” of meditation, creates endurance for those who want to stretch themselves past a 5-minute meditation, and ingrains routine that will help keep you coming back to the cushion. The benefits are countless, including lower stress levels, increased personal and interpersonal awareness, and calmer demeanors. For those of you interested in more medical benefits: lowering blood pressure and improved immune response are among the benefits too.

Next week we will hit the topic of The Fickle practitioner…   who likes to do all the techniques…  all at the same time.

After that, The Game Changer…  cultivating compassion within your practice, no matter what it brings.

If you’re enjoying this series, which started with Misperceptions about Taming the Wild Mind through Meditation, have feedback or a question, please feel free to send me a message.

Until next week, Happy Sitting.